Signs of Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is harmful and dangerous, and we should all be aware! From my long-term work with adolescents and youth, I’ve noticed that these age groups in our communities are facing different kind of problems and cyberbullying is one of the most major and pressing problems that need a solution. 

Bullying can be very visible and/or invisible. Visible such as physical aggression and violence. Invisible such as cyberbullying where others can’t see it (especially parents). Cyberbullying is when someone uses technology to send mean, threatening and/or embarrassing messages to/about a person. 

The statistics 

The world today has become more aware of this issue, we have more accurate statistics published that make us understand the widespread of cyberbullying among our teenagers. Below are some disturbing cyberbullying statistics concerning the global community: 

• Only 38% of cyberbullying victims are willing to admit it to their parents. 
• Over 80% of children own a mobile phone and have multiple social network accounts. 
• 66% of female victims have feelings of powerlessness because of cyberbullying. 

From my personal experience, I can say that teenagers choose not to talk about this subject, even with their parents. They believe it is a sensitive subject and that most caregivers aren’t will not understand it. 

The first basic step is to help your teenagers to clarify their situation and to do a self-test to check if they have symptoms or behaviors that they don’t understand. They can start by answering the following highly important questions. Encourage them to be as honest as much as you can: 

• Has anyone ever called you a bad name through social media and chatting groups? 
• Has anyone ever told you that you can’t be friends with them or rejected your friend request for example? 
• Has anyone ever harassed or threatened you through messages and emails? 
• Was someone mean to you because of how you look in your photos or what you are posting? 
• Has anyone used your personal information (name, photos, age, etc...) as their personal identity? 
• Has anyone posted or disseminated information about you without mentioning your name, but it was oriented toward you? 
• Did you tell anyone about any of these incidents? Why or why not? 
• Do you know friends or others from your entourage that got cyberbullied?  
• Have you ever applied the above to someone else? 

Moreover, we’re going to discuss in this article different forms of cyberbullying and how we can empower our children against it. First, we’ll list key messages for teens and parents to keep in mind, that will affect our judgment on cyberbullying. 

Key messages to remember! 

• Bullying is neither biological nor unavoidable. 
• Bullying is learned, harmful and controllable. 
• Bullying spreads if supported or unchecked. 
• Bullying involves everyone: bullies, victims, and bystanders. 
• Bullying can be effectively stopped or entirely prevented. 

 As we know, while there are several different ways kids are bullying others online, most of it falls into four categories. 

Here are four of the most common methods of cyberbullying: 

Harassing Someone 

• Using text messaging, instant messaging, and email to harass, threaten or embarrass the victim such as posting rumors, threats, or embarrassing or sensitive information on social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
• Developing a social media page to spread information that is humiliating, embarrassing, or insulting for the victim. 
• Spreading rumors, lies, or gossip about the victim online through social media or blogs. 

Impersonating Someone 

Developing a profile identical to the victim’s profile or by stealing the victim’s password, then posting rude or hurtful remarks, chatting with other people while impersonating the victim and changing the target’s online profile to inappropriate things, while pretending to be the victim in order to offend and anger the victim’s friends or acquaintances. 

Using Photographs 

• Threatening to share embarrassing photos as a way of controlling or blackmailing the victim. 
• Posting sensitive photos of the victim sharing sites for anyone on the Internet to view and download. 

Gossiping or Vague booking 

Posting mean tweets or posts that never mention the victim's name. Yet the victim, the bully, and often a larger audience know who the posts are referencing. 

Cyberbullying is not only limited to the above. We’re living in rapidly changing times and technologies and new ways of bullying will rise to the surface. This is why the most important step is to understand bullying, its effects, and how to be empowered against it. 

Encourage your children to do the following:  

Positive self-affirmation for the child or teen to repeat for direct empowerment: 

I promise myself to… 

• Seek help when I am bullied, or I feel like I might be bullied. 
• NOT to stay silent and suffer in silence and in fear. 
• Tell someone I trust: an adult, a coach, or a teacher. 
• Express my feelings because I have the right to. 
• No Bullying Bystander: I promise to… 
• Stop a hurtful rumor whenever I can (either online/ offline). 
• Tell an adult when I know of a plan to harass others. 
• Ignore everything the bully is doing and saying, to report the account, and to tell an adult I trust. 

Encourage your children and teens to do the following:  

If you know of any friend acting as a cyberbully, talk to them in private and stand up for your own principles and let them know it's not OK. Explain to them that bullying can have serious consequences for the bully, for those being bullied and even for bystanders like you and your friends. 

Encourage your children and teens to say the following:

The Golden Rule: I promise to… 

• Respect all peers. 
• Respect other peers’ belongings, privacy, etc.… 
• Treat others the way I want to be treated. 

Remind your children and teens the following: 

• Be proud of who you are. 
• Don’t blame yourself. 
• Be assertive. 
• Discuss it with friends and get help from them. 
• Be mindful of your own behavior and learn to deal with stress. 
• Ignore it. Don't let the bully know that you’re upset.  
• Talk to a trusted person.  
• Do this test, write it and hang it in your room or put it in your pocket, wherever you see suitable, and repeat it to yourself whenever needed. 

Steps that help children and teens to deal with cyberbullying? 

• Ignore: Don’t respond to “minor teasing or name-calling” if they can be avoided. Bullies will continue whenever they see a reaction from the victim. 
• Record: Keep a record of bullying messages. 
• Reach out: Your parents, a favorite teacher, school administrators, counselors. 
• Cut off the bullies: block their phone number, their Facebook and Instagram accounts, and others so you no longer receive their calls or messages. If for some reason, it’s not possible to block them, you can always delete their messages without opening them. 
• Report: Report cyberbullying incidents to the sites, the internet service provider, the cellphone service provider, or the content provider. 

In a nutshell, what was mentioned above is the essential information we need to know about cyberbullying and the actions we need to take to keep our children safe.