Handling Distance Relations

The global information and communications landscape has expanded over the past decade to include more and different digital communications technologies, referred to as digital media, social media, or even new media. 

Nowadays due to many factors in our life, the digital world is growing with us, and we are relying more on it, sometimes we prefer it, and sometimes we remove it completely from our lives. 

Challenges you might face in your long-distance relationships: 

Every relationship requires hard work if it’s in your family, work, and friends, but a long-distance relationship or a digital one suffers problems that you might not have to face in a regular or face-to-face relationship. So can you handle the distance? what are these problems? Can you work on them? Or should you follow the cliché, “it’s better to be present or it’s not the same, because we are not used to this”.  

Long-distance relationships lack so many simple moments yet valuable moments, like being able to eat together at the same table, to be present in certain moments such as important holidays and social gatherings, to be able to see the people you work with, attend important meetings even just coming to the office physical space changes your mood, doing sports together… These small details mean so much in relationships and its presence has a big impact on the relationship's solidity, but there are so many challenges that people face in a long-distance relationship, and here are a few: 

Miscommunication: Possibly the most common problem to occur is when you are texting, emailing even video calling constantly, you will type or say things that can be misunderstood, and before you know it, your joke has been taken seriously and you are in a full-blown argument. 

Lack of cues: To communicate well, we need to see how others react to what we are saying. This kind of synchronicity of communication is very important and something that our beloved ones or colleagues request. When communication happens over typed messaging, and phone conversations that vital information is lost, the person on the other side can easily be lost or out of sync. And even on a clear video call, which seems to offer us a chance to look directly into someone, there's a crucial piece missing: the physical connection and feeling each other's energy that summarizes the communication through words and eye contact. 

Emptiness: Thinking like you have nothing to talk about or do. Do not worry, it is normal! When you get to see each other face to face regularly, conversation flows easier and you can spend time together without even talking like watching TV together, eating at the same table, celebrating together, you don’t need to force communication like when you are in remote relationships, where you try to force communication to make it up for the missed experiences or to connect more.  

Growing Apart: Being apart from your parents and friends will make you more independent in many aspects of your life which allows you to grow and become mature faster than your friends who still live with their families. But this also has its disadvantages, because you will not be able to share with your friends and relatives their happy and sad moments, their achievements and you might even feel like a stranger when you visit them during your off days and notice that you missed many things about their lives. 

Bad internet connection: Technology is only as good as the internet connection, which is often not so great! Long-distance phone calls, especially over WiFi, can also include a slight delay or some fuzziness. So, it's easy to talk over each other without realizing that the other person has more to say. If a lot of calls are marked by this frustration, people can start associating your interaction with annoyance and stress.  

Busyness: Too busy or too tired to talk! Especially with those who are juggling time differences, it can get extremely hard fitting in some long conversations. Trying to continue your normal life of working or studying, exercising, socializing, sleeping, and fitting in meaningful time to spend online or on the phone with your family, it can become tough.  

The unknown: What is happening on the other side? What am I missing? Is there something happening I am not aware of? You always think that there is something happening and you are out of the loop in your family or at work and that makes you weak or insecure that could lead to some negative behavior or attitude such as disappearing and not answering or excessively communicating and transforming you into a possessive person. 

How can we handle these challenges? 

Best advice for you to handle or avoid such incidents in your digital communication or long distant relations is:  

With colleagues:

1.Setting ground rules:  

• Personal sharing is one of the easiest ways to create that connection, especially when the staff members are remote.  
• Multi-tasking is not allowed.  
• Limit mute whenever practical: the dead air of mute kills any attempt at humor and eliminates the bonding value of shared laughter. 

2.Aligning personal and professional goals:  

• Making work more joyful by full engagement with the remote project team should be one of the goals shared.   
• Have a balance between your work life and daily life.   
• Share your work vision with your family so they can understand more your work and dreams.   

3.Strengthening relationships:  

• Praise the team members who aren’t afraid to speak their minds politely.  
• Preserve confidentiality and privacy.  
• Be authentic and transparent in your discussion. 

With family and friends:

• Stop trying to make your long-distance relationship a regular relationship!  
• Do not just rely on general chat for communication! Come up with fun things to do, sitting behind digital communication all the time is boring and not an easy task to do. Watch movies at the same time together, cook the same meal at the same time or play a game together online.  Talk about the future and even your short-term goals. 
• Avoid excessive communication.   
• Set some rules or a schedule for when you are free and you can talk, and you can make it as a routine.  
• If you are not there physically it doesn’t mean you can break any rule that you set with your family or friends, so respect them.   
• A good surprise visit, whenever you can, is always great.   
• Stay honest with everyone.   
• Get a good messaging or video app to always rely on and make sure that you always have the internet.   
• Video calls are the best since you can see and hear.   
• Keep yourself optimistic and always inject good news. 

In the end, you want to be realistic, and understand that conflicts and challenges will arise either face to face or in distant relationships. What matters is your attitude and your readiness to have innovative solutions and actions.