Protecting My Child from Online Grooming

In different ways, the Internet has proved a great fun experience for almost all children. Whether it’s the little mobile screen or the larger desktop one, they feel excited to explore the online world with no fear. 

However, beyond the fun, thousands of predators are active online, waiting for their next victim of Online Grooming. So, here’s what you need to know. 

What is Online Grooming? 

Online Grooming is a type of online abuse or manipulation where the predator befriends children for dangerous and inappropriate purposes, and engaging and conversations that are not age-appropriate, etc. 

How does Online Grooming happen? 

Stage 1: Gaining Trust 

For easier manipulation, online groomers will befriend children and gain their trust by: 

• Being kind and gentle 
• Helping them with homework, money or other rewards 
• Pretending to be their role model  
• Listening to their problems and sharing advice 

Stage 2: Creating Secrecy 

To make sure children don’t report anything to anyone, online groomers might tell them: 

• If you talk, people won’t believe you. They will think you are weird.  
• Let’s keep this between us. Nobody has to know about it. 
• If you stay silent, I can help you better. 
• If you speak up, I will put you in trouble. 
• I will hurt myself and leave you behind if anyone finds out. 

Stage 3: Engaging in unethical online behavior 

Online groomers will ask children to engage in inappropriate online behavior that is not age-appropriate such as engaging in unsuitable conversations. This will cause psychological harms to the child since he is exposed to online behavior and conversation that he cannot comprehend its impact yet. 

Stage 4: Maintaining Control 

After reaching their goals, online groomers will try to maintain the relationship either by threat and power or by financial and emotional control under the reasoning of “nobody will understand and help you like I do.” 

How do I know if my child is a victim? What are the signs? 

• Spending more internet time 
• Expressing knowledge or language that isn’t age-appropriate 
• Being private about their online activities and internet friends 
• Withdrawn and non-communicative behavior 
• Sudden mood swings and sadness 
• Lower academic performance 

How do I keep my child safe? 

Children often don’t realize they are being groomed. This is why proper prevention and intervention are highly recommended. 

Prevention Stage: Awareness  

It’s important to build a relationship of support and trust with your child, where you educate them about Online Grooming, and they can feel free to share with you any similar incidents, away from the fear of getting blamed or punished. Also, you can tell them   the following: 

• Sometimes people online are not who they are in real life. 
• People can create fake accounts with weird names or pictures to use them for bad purposes. So, be careful of who you talk to when online. 
• I would love to hear all about the new friends you meet online, because I need to know who you talk to make sure you are safe. 
• If you want to meet in person with someone you only know online, let’s go together. 
• Be cautious about what you share online. People might use photos of you against you. 
• Don’t use identifying information (e.g., address, school name) with people you meet online. 
• Let’s manage your privacy settings together. 
• If anything worries you online, you can tell me, and I will definitely support you. 

Intervention Stage: Taking Action 

It’s necessary to immediately end the relationship between your child and their groomer. You can always report such crime to the responsible authorities besides other useful steps: 

• Help your child feel safe and supported without directly blaming them. 
• Teach them to practice self-love to wash away the feeling of guilt they might be feeling. 
• Find a therapist or counselor to address any possible psychological harms. 
• Join an online or offline support group to show your child they are not alone and help them talk more openly about their experience.  

As a parent, you are your child’s first superhero, and with the right knowledge, you can save them from all kinds of online dangers. Let’s share the word with more parents and caregivers to help protect other children too.