My children and their Online Friendships

Friendships require give and take, by sharing toys, time, games, experiences, and feelings and it teaches children that they can have their social needs met and can meet the needs of others. Since friendships develop through this kind of mutual exchange, close friendships are usually based on well-matched needs. Children’s friendship needs and skills change as they grow. Similarly, children’s ideas about friendship change as they develop. This is reflected in the different kinds of activities that children like to spend time doing with their friends at different ages in their lives.

Friendships are important, for both your children and yourselves. This is a part of life and we need it as playtime, fun activities, deep discussions, something to share together, and develop together as individuals. Friendships help your children develop emotionally and morally. Not only do children learn how to communicate with others, but it can also be instrumental in helping them learn to control their emotions. 

Having a best friend, playing with other children, and going to birthday parties are routine activities for most kids. In fact, making friends is one of the most important missions of middle childhood, a social skill that will endure throughout their lives. 

Children’s friendships go into several stages. It starts from preschool years, school-aged years & adolescents’ years. During these phases most if not all the interactions are face to face. Telephone, internet, or any other means are just for communications. Either parents talk to each other for playdates or your children themselves communicate to set playdate time.  

In recent years travel has become more integrated in caregivers’ lives and jobs, it’s a normal and routine part of life to move from country to country, so nowadays your children’s friends are moving out to different countries or different states, also it could be different other factors such as your child going to a different school, moving to a university in a different area, COVID 19 pandemic and other similar factors. Now your children have their best friend separated due to travel or other factors. So, we are going to talk about how you can support your children in maintaining current friendships online.  

What can you do to help your children maintain their friendship online? 

Talk to your children about online friendships, what does a distant relationship mean, why they should keep it, and preserve it. Children sometimes may misunderstand how to deal with a friend who just moved out of town. Since they spend most of their time with friends and peers, so they start thinking that the person I enjoy my time with just left, so how can I keep it, and is it possible? 

As a caregiver, you should be ready to answer these questions and have that discussion, if your child does not understand that maintaining friendships online is important, they will not engage in any action to preserve it. Sometimes they need coaching, or alternative actions, or someone to comfort them, or they are wondering how to adapt to this new situation since it’s new to them.  
 

Teach them positive social skills to interact virtually such as: 

• Starting conversations: Sharing information  
• Taking initiative: Asking for what the other person needs or wants 
• Expressing feelings: Apologizing to others  
• Following rules of play 
• Complimenting others & playing fair 
• Accepting others & listening to others 
• Refusing to join others’ negative behaviours 
• Being a good looser 
• Helping others and cooperating  

Collaborate on a project together: 

Encourage your kids to team up with friends to take on the same kind of project together to problem-solve and compare notes. This could range from doing video calls or emailing each other or building a site together on an online program depending on your child’s age and interest.  

For example:  

• Have your kids or their friends choose a recipe each week to make together via video chat. 
• Taking an Online Class Together  

Keeping good connections with the caregivers: 

You should keep a good relation and continuous communication with the other children’s parents, to encourage them to open spaces for both families to engage easily, since parents’ relationships are very important for your children. It would be easier to set up virtual playdates and game night for example. Since you already know the other person’s family this gives you a sense of safety and peace of mind.  
 

Set up virtual playdates: 

Whether your child wants to virtually meet up with a group of school friends or simply chat one-on-one with a buddy for a few minutes. Children don’t talk much to each other sometimes, but they find comfort in just being together face to face or virtually. This should continue in different forms:  
 

• Game-day, where your children set up time to play games online together 
• Set a day so they can watch a movie together online, you can always open a virtual call so they can discuss it together during or afterwards.   

It’s all about talking to your children, coaching them, and let them feel that they can talk to you about any problem occurring to them in preserving these online connections. 

Keep in mind, don’t let your child feel lonely!